Responsibility v. Common Sense

Between dealing with consumers, a preschooler, a school-aged daughter, and random friends and strangers throughout the day, I've come to one conclusion.

People will find ANYTHING to say, do, or point out to avoid taking responsibility for an action, even if it wasn't a wrong action.

Where does this epidemic come from?

There's the obvious things, a simple example is weight loss. I am overweight. I am working to help this problem. No one else created this problem for me...there were factors, but it really is up to me to have done something about it.

Some of the other people I deal with say the most ridiculous things.

Example: "I ate too much yogurt because I had to eat with a bigger spoon because the smaller ones were all dirty."

Are we serious here people? How many times can you blame inanimate object for actions?

Example: "He was there and I was just spinning. I didn't hit him, my leg did."

Obviously child logic, but same basic principle. If you didn't mean to do it, doesn't change that you did it, and why does the excuses always come before an apology?

I don't know how responsibility has fallen by the wayside. Unfortunate happenings, mistakes, the first instinct is to pawn them off on someone or something else.

I have much more respect for the person who says they're sorry when they say something out of line than the person that justifies why they said something cruel. We all make mistakes, but why justify bad actions?

If you want to eat a full tub of ice cream. Eat it. But it's not your job, your spoon, your rough day, or someone else that made you do it. (Unless someone is force-feeding you--then you have an entirely different problem.)

I want to see people learning from their mistakes, apologizing, coming to middle ground. It seems more and more, the joke about banning spoons because they make you fat is closer to a reality than it is a jest.

I'm dealing with a big mistake right now--although made by someone else, it affects me and I wish I had been smart enough to know in the beginning what I could have done to prevent it. The things we do and how we do them, even when it comes to entering numbers on a spreadsheet, can really affect another individual's life. When someone makes a mistake so severe that it affects my future and my ability to provide for my family, I am mad, but I have to take some responsibility because I didn't prepare for this.

I have to take responsibility for my need to have a better filing system for paperwork, a better understanding of my finances and other aspects so that I can catch the mistakes of others. There's responsibility on multiple sides of situations.

Only problem is, it's very frustrating when someone makes a mistake and tells you that it's your fault they made the mistake. There's a very ethical line there that gets crossed when responsibility is taken and negotiated at a reasonable and justifiable level.

I wonder how different a place the world would be if people were kind, courteous, and took responsibility for  their actions. I don't think any magic wand can give me that one!

Things I Didn't Understand about Lifestyle Change

I've thought about, pondered, promised, and almost changed things about my life. I've nearly tried new things, found a new self of sense worth, and moved toward my goals. Problem is, I'm very comfortable making goals, but change has always been difficult for me.

I always thought it was about that first step, buying groceries instead of eating out, making it to the swimming pool for the first week, going a month without biting my nails, or looking at a calendar of events and looking for activities that worked into my schedule for my goals.

It really isn't about the first step. It's not about the program, or the schedule, or the million reasons that one day works better than another.

For me, I found a reason that I finally wanted to move in a direction and keep going. 

It's nothing cheesy. I didn't find love that changed my life and all of a sudden I'm a different person.

In actuality, I'm the same person I've always been, but now I'm strong enough. Most of the reasons that I had for not making changes in my life had to do with one of three things: self worth, time, and money. 

Self worth was the hardest to overcome. I get discouraged easily. I want to be good at things, I want to see results, and I want to be recognized for what I can accomplish. Problem is, that's all very superficial. I was looking for words to support my actions. I was looking for approval. It's taken me this long to realize that when it comes to my goals, my hopes, and my life--I need to be making those changes for myself, not for how someone else might perceive it.

Time is always going to be a problem, but time management is helping me. I think the problem is putting down technology. I love paying attention to Facebook on my phone or watching an episode on Netflix, but I'm finding that I'm much more relaxed when I lessen those activities and listen to music or snuggle instead. I don't need more time--I need to make wiser use of it. 

Money is a difficult topic. I have discovered, however; that many of the things that I thought would cost me a ton, are costing very little and I have a lot of superficial, materialistic expenditures that are unnecessary. Again, it's about priorities, and getting those in-line is probably going to be something that I struggle with for awhile.

So where am I on this journey? I've taken steps to do things I wasn't sure I could. It's making me feel confident and I think that I'll be able to continue because home is where my heart is. 

I used to hate being at home--I loved spending time with my kids, but when it came to evening, I felt trapped. Now I feel warm, relaxed, and happy. It's a bright place to come home to and I'm able to plan more. I look at my last week and I see the changes I've been able to make in regard to saving money, exercising, and learning new skills. It's going to be a bright future...I just didn't realize how much I was getting in my own way.

Help Your Community While Spring Cleaning

Let's face it, most of us go through our homes, replace the old things with newer things, and take a car or truck full over to the local Goodwill or ARC.

I am not discouraging this practice, but there are some things that may help our organizations in your local community that you weren't thinking about.

Here is a list of wishlists for United Way organizations: NONPROFIT WISH LIST

From computer accessories to shelving, cleaning supplies to craft supplies, furniture to baby layettes, it's something to consider. We all may have a few things tucked away in our homes that can benefit many of these local organizations.