Things I Didn't Understand about Lifestyle Change

I've thought about, pondered, promised, and almost changed things about my life. I've nearly tried new things, found a new self of sense worth, and moved toward my goals. Problem is, I'm very comfortable making goals, but change has always been difficult for me.

I always thought it was about that first step, buying groceries instead of eating out, making it to the swimming pool for the first week, going a month without biting my nails, or looking at a calendar of events and looking for activities that worked into my schedule for my goals.

It really isn't about the first step. It's not about the program, or the schedule, or the million reasons that one day works better than another.

For me, I found a reason that I finally wanted to move in a direction and keep going. 

It's nothing cheesy. I didn't find love that changed my life and all of a sudden I'm a different person.

In actuality, I'm the same person I've always been, but now I'm strong enough. Most of the reasons that I had for not making changes in my life had to do with one of three things: self worth, time, and money. 

Self worth was the hardest to overcome. I get discouraged easily. I want to be good at things, I want to see results, and I want to be recognized for what I can accomplish. Problem is, that's all very superficial. I was looking for words to support my actions. I was looking for approval. It's taken me this long to realize that when it comes to my goals, my hopes, and my life--I need to be making those changes for myself, not for how someone else might perceive it.

Time is always going to be a problem, but time management is helping me. I think the problem is putting down technology. I love paying attention to Facebook on my phone or watching an episode on Netflix, but I'm finding that I'm much more relaxed when I lessen those activities and listen to music or snuggle instead. I don't need more time--I need to make wiser use of it. 

Money is a difficult topic. I have discovered, however; that many of the things that I thought would cost me a ton, are costing very little and I have a lot of superficial, materialistic expenditures that are unnecessary. Again, it's about priorities, and getting those in-line is probably going to be something that I struggle with for awhile.

So where am I on this journey? I've taken steps to do things I wasn't sure I could. It's making me feel confident and I think that I'll be able to continue because home is where my heart is. 

I used to hate being at home--I loved spending time with my kids, but when it came to evening, I felt trapped. Now I feel warm, relaxed, and happy. It's a bright place to come home to and I'm able to plan more. I look at my last week and I see the changes I've been able to make in regard to saving money, exercising, and learning new skills. It's going to be a bright future...I just didn't realize how much I was getting in my own way.