Taking Pay it Forward One Step Further

I know there are organizations like the Make a Wish foundation that grant wishes to children with cancer and other harsh life conditions and project like Extreme Makeover that honor people/organizations who have done extraordinary things in the community or have special circumstances, but what about an organization that works to make the dreams of ordinary people come true?

I often think about what I would do with extra time or extra money, and when I fantasize about having that ability, all I can think about is the look on a person's face when something that they never expected to happen but that they'd dreamed about actually came true.

For one of my friends, I think it would be going to a concert of her favorite musician as a surprise for her birthday.

For another, it would be a van so that he could take his act on the road.

Everyone has small, attainable dreams that we don't think about because it is frivolous or life just moves too fast to make the plans.

I love seeing supportive funds pop up to help bands make their dreams or people entering a fundraiser 10k for a disease that needs more awareness.

I would like to see more people, more groups, more humanity out on the streets and looking for the next smile to make someone's day.

For some people, it's as easy as a cup of coffee or making a cake on her birthday. For others, it's getting to watch the big fight on the big screen. I think more of life needs to be about making dreams come true.

I think I'm going to be preoccupied with this one for awhile.

(If you know of any organizations that do what I'm taking about--I'd love to know!)

With Love, Anonymous

Other people used to have the ability to ruin or make me question my friendships or relationships. I was worried about what they said, what they thought, and I always felt like there was a large group of people making fun of me, criticizing my next predicted move, and I don't know what is different now, but I'm more puzzled than concerned when I feel criticized by others. 

 My mistakes have created a beautiful, loving cataclysm of a life. I have done so many things wrong, it's a wonder I'm still standing. 

Things feel right now though. 

I know I used to worry about what was best for friends of mine, when they were moving to fast, or making decisions I didn't understand. I'd like to apologize for that now--being on the receiving end of unfounded and incredibly biased judgment is ridiculous. 

I can see where a disconnect between facts and emotion can cause people to become nervous, but I think it's sad that as a friend or a family member, our first instinct is to tear something apart, criticize it, or mix it with elements of a failed past. 

I want to make a new goal. I want to be the kind of loving person who is there to support those I care about.  I need to let go of my initial impressions and criticism and trust people to make the best decisions for their lives. Maybe, in turn, I can be granted the same courtesy.

I want to say that I'm hurt by the postulation that by meeting someone spring of last year, dating them seriously after the summer, and deciding to get engaged this spring means that I'm out of touch, materialistic, or manipulative. These things were said by someone I do not know to the person I love, under an anonymous guise of friendship.  I take it with a grain of salt, but I have to wonder if I would have thought the same thing about a girl like me if I looked only at the facts of the situation?

I used to wonder what people thought of the ways my life changed, the mistakes I made, and the way I felt. When I let go of that, when I was working on being happy, when I was bettering myself--I found the kind of love that I didn't truly believe existed. I had stopped believing in the kinds of magic and hope and beauty that I wanted so desperately for my children to keep believing in. 

All at once, everything changed. I let go of remorse and fear and wanting to be seen a certain way by others. I let go of my mistakes and embraced the lessons I'd learned. I learned to say that I was sorry when I was wrong instead of getting angry.

And, all at once, I was in love.

Known each other a year and engaged?

Outrageous or magical? 

Crazy or beautiful?

Mistake or best decision ever made?

For me, magical, beautiful, and the best decision I've ever made (aside from becoming a mother). I know that the people who care about me will be happy for me. I know that the people who want to be dramatic will judge me. They may even talk about me. 

The wonderful thing about it is that they're not me, nor living my life, or knowing my heart. I've given my heart to someone I love and I have no hope of ever getting it back.

So insult me, talk about me, call me crazy and horrible, but in your disdain, I hope you find your own love. When you find it, you'll realize how stupid it was to worry about the decisions of others. 

Find happiness. Find love. Find the magic.