I know I shouldn't listen to the conversations of others, but...

I couldn't resist today.

Really their conversation isn't quite as morbid as the conclusions I eventually drew, but there I was, getting a cup of black coffee to drench my stretched soul in, and I hear, "Well I really think we should take Facebook out of the mix. You have to determine how long it would take someone to notice without an obvious tagged post of Facebook."

My attention was immediately drawn. At first I'm thinking it has to do with relationship status, changing a hair cut, or something simple. Then, one of them says, "I honestly don't think any of my facebook friends would think about it unless my family posted something. I never talk to them."

At this point, I'm lingering at the door, pretending to drink my coffee (trust me, I couldn't actually drink it, it was too hot) when another says, "Who really cares anyway? I mean if you're dead, what are you going to do, come back and haunt them for not noticing?"

Wait? Double-take...I had to hold my tongue from asking for a repetition. I was sincerely regretful that I didn't have some microwaveable lunch full of preservatives to take into the lunch room and pop in while I listened.

So I stood in the kitchen, learning against the counter until I actually could take a sip of my coffee. They talked about how a real friend might know within a week, an acquaintance would know once the funeral was announced or after the funeral, and anyone that wouldn't wasn't probably actually a friend. Between discussing death and levels of friendship, most of them lost time and the conversation ended as their lunch breaks had been over for a few minutes. At that point, I went back to my desk. It's a interesting thing, pondering the strength or validity of a friendship based on the amount of time it would take someone to notice your death.

I can't figure out if I give some people too much credit or others too little, but I am fairly certain that many of the people that knew me when I was younger and that I barely talk to would probably know faster and have a more sincere reaction than people I see more frequently and have talked to recently. I developed better connections in my youth---most of the people I'm friends with now don't notice if I'm absent at general events so how long would it really take everyone in my facebook friends to know I'd passed if no post was made to facebook?

I think I have to come to the conclusion that some people would never really know. I think we clutter our lives with people we know, but that don't really know us and don't realy allow us to know them. I can even say that there are some people that I enjoy spending time with that I rarely have contact with outside of venues. I don't know favorite activities or foods, let alone what is going on in their lives on a daily basis.

It's much different than the question of people being sad or missing someone who is gone because in that category, there are always people that would miss a loved one or a friend, but wondering if you died in some way...how long would it take someone to notice? It goes along the questions people ask like how long would it take someone to find me if I passed out in the bathtub and died? You hear stories about people not found for weeks...I will never be one of those people. I hope I don't know anyone who thinks he or she will be.


In all likelihood, when I die, there will be a great disturbance in the force and all that care about me will know :P

Not that I'm completely loveable and awesome, or anything...