Obvious problems are addiction, excessive anger/violence, etc, but those are easy to see. It's easy to tell when someone is not coping, but can we really see when someone is struggling with coping?
I think it's hard to know how to deal with stresses and even celebrations in life when it gets to be too much. So I've been trying to come up with ways to cope when I'm feeling either overwhelmed or underwhelmed .
The best list of safe coping skills that I've seen actually comes out of the Allies Program in Sacramento, CA [Copyrights the Guilford Press, New York. From Najavits, L.M. Seeking Safety: A Treatment Manual for PTSD and Substance Abuse (2002).] Pages 5 & 6 of Seeking Safety Handout
Granted, this list was created with emotional trauma and substance abuse in mind, but really overuse of electronics, lack of communication with other people, overuse of caffeine, along with other hosts of relational problems are issues we all struggle with so I don't think that someone needs to have a socially recognized "problem" to benefit from the knowledge and practice of safe coping skills when extreme situations/emotions are encountered.
I think my favorite ones from the list (Pages 5 & 6 of Seeking Safety Handout) are:
- Inspire yourself
- Seek understanding, not blame
- Alone is better than a bad relationship (or friendship)
- Avoid avoidable suffering
- Get organized
- Integrate the split self
- Let go of destructive relationships (or friendships)
- Setbacks are not failures
- Notice what you can control
- Make a decision
Along with self-care and a host of others, those are probably the ten that I need to keep in mind when moving toward being a more assertive, more happy, healthier person.
I think it's worthwhile to examine how we perceive the world around us. I've been surprised at some of the negative things I tell myself. I'm not free of those thoughts, but I'm definitely working on it. Life is too wonderful to get stuck on the negative!
No comments:
Post a Comment
Thank you for your comment.