Do the Hokey Pokey and You Turn Yourself Around

I've learned not to apologize for the way I live my life, the things I think and do, and who I am.

What I have realized is I will not be liked by most of the people I meet, I will never know what the majority of my acquaintances think of me, and if I spend my time worrying about what other people think, I will forget to live my own life.

I know I've broken hearts I never intended to harm.

I've been ineffective in reaching hearts I've desperately tried to affect.

I've tried to impose my will on others, unintentionally and intentionally, unsuccessfully and successfully.

I like having my way and it's very hard to temper.

I like making other people happy and sometimes I will forget who I am in pursuit of trying to change how another person feels.

I feel responsible for feelings and events that I had no part in creating.

It's very hard for me to walk away from damaging people, but it's slowly getting easier.

I feed into other people's self absorption easily. By desperately wanting to be liked, it's easy to bend over backwards for someone else's dream. The hard part is, those kinds of people will never return the favor. They're also the hardest to let go of. 

I've been striving for a long time to feel like someone valued me and my dreams as much as I've tried to support others. When I finally found that happy medium, I was amazed and when it's reciprocal, it's love. 

I try to love all of my friends and family. I hope that I can raise my children with values that strengthen and support their relationships and friendships. 

I cannot control most of the things I'd like to and mostly accept that fact.

I want more out of life. That doesn't mean what it used to for me. I don't want more friends or more things or more to do--I want more value to the time spent and the connections I've made. I think I've been on the right track for that change. 

I don't write these truths for any other reason to acknowledge what I've been feeling lately. I like marking the steps I've made on my journey to accepting myself--it's been a difficult road of transitions and trials. If I ever fall backwards, I feel like this is a list of things that is worth remembering and working back toward.