I'm Not a Doormat...Not for Anyone

I don't know what it is lately, but the more I deal with people, the less I want to let anyone into my life that isn't already there. Outside of my family and really close friends, the people on the outskirts of my trust keep making me feel like I really can't let anyone else in. 

I am so sick of half-promises and forgotten words, showing up late (or forgetting to show up), and especially of feeling like I'm not important enough or special enough to deserve common courtesies or acknowledgment. 

I think I do a fairly good job of listening, trying to listen to the views of others, coordinating, showing up, being a good friend, and making sure that people know that I care about them. If I fail at this, I hope someone tells me...I like to be there for the people in my life and I hope they know that I am.

What I don't understand a lot of the time is the flip-side of the coin. So here's the ranting portion of this blog:

Who do you think you are that you can break plans and do whatever you want without contacting me, calling me later, and how can you possibly think that everything will be just fine a few days after you've slighted me?

Do you think I give a damn about all of the crap you buy yourself or the things that you blow me or other friends off to do? Can you not see what a selfish ass it makes you when every concern, conversation, purchase, dinner or movie choice is all about what YOU want? 

Do you even care about my interests or have you assumed what I like, what I need, what I'm into or not into doing? Have you ever taken one second to stop projecting who you want me to be and seen who is standing here?

Should we even be friends? Are we even friends? OR am I just the girl you call when you need someone who wants to do what you want? Are you ever going to follow through when it's something that is important to me? How many times do you think you'll get away with lying and not listening until I get fed up?

Cuz I've got news for you, "buddy", I'm not just someone who only cares about what you want. The first couple times, it's okay, I don't mind trying things and being a friend to someone and getting to know their interests or help them out, BUT I'm my own person and if your only interest is you, don't let the door hit you on the way out. That's not friendship. If there's no give/take on both sides, it's not worth it, at least not to me.