When I was trying to figure out what I should say for this question, the first place I looked in my heart was for any regrets. A lot of things in my life haven't gone quite as I had hoped. The tougher answers deal with doing things to make people happy, trying to make things work that I knew full well would not, and walking away when I was too tired to fight for someone or something I really cared about.
There was a moment when I did all of those things. I was going through the first stages of divorce and I saw people dividing, wanting to take sides, trying to be supportive. I couldn't handle it. I didn't want people involved. I took my toys and walked away. Some people I'd been friends with for years who were just trying to figure out the best way to be supportive and I threw it all away.
At the time, I was so emotionally turbulent that I didn't want advice or sympathy because it didn't occur to me that the changes in my life did affect other people. It wasn't another decision, another day, and i wasn't the only one trying to deal with the emotions of the loss.
I have gained a few friends back that pointed out to me I had no right to just say, everyone be his friend. I think I was trying to be strong and a few people forgave me and came back into my life. There are also some people that I really miss, casualties of my decision that I'm pretty sure never really understood what I was doing. I need to forgive myself for hurting them or hurting myself--at this point, I'm not really sure. I just know that sometimes you make a decision and think something will be all right, but there are a couple people I miss having in my life, and I don't know if our paths will cross again.
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