I'm feeling too many different things right now. Some of them are good enough to make me want to dance and eat breakfast in the morning. Others make me fold my hands together, placing my head on them as I lose a single tear down my cheek. It's amazing how many factors affect a single day. You can watch an exuberant child that makes you want to cry and laugh within moments, hold a hand that reminds you you're not alone and very much valued, or you can look into the face of death, sometimes begging it to cease another's suffering. They're moments all strung together making life both unbearable and unbelievably worthwhile.
I try to turn the negative into positive when it's possible. I want to believe that everything gets better, the world keeps turning, and there's some solution I should be searching for, a secret formula to life that makes it all easier. The truth is, that wouldn't be better. When there's been as much pain and downfall and ridiculous circumstance, it's much easier to recognize the true miracle of watching a child splash in a pool of shallow water and feeling the wind blow through my hair in the sunlight.
I doubt I'll ever stop wishing for things to be easier, but I can appreciate that things not being easy reminds me every step why I'm fighting so hard to make things better.
"It's amazing how many factors affect a single day."
ReplyDeleteThat is very true. But, I have absolute faith in your perseverance. I admire you for honoring ALL of your emotions (even they negative ones), and for recognizing that ALL emotions are part of life. Yet, I also admire you for "Not sweating the small stuff," and for appreciating the little things in life.
Hang in there, friend!
- Erin