Lately I've been trying to form my "new" life. I'm being responsible and assertive, working on my emotions, etc, etc, etc, but I've become someone awful in the process.
Where before I wound my whole life in knots trying to please my friends and family, now I'm forgetting commitments, people who I told I would make time for, and letting real friendships slip through the cracks. I'm not calling people I told I would call. I'm not asking for help when I need it. I'm not being truly assertive or communicating.
I think it's because I'm afraid. If I'm not around the people that I usually just smile and go along with the plan. Although that's fine sometimes, I don't want to do it anymore--I want a voice and I'm afraid I won't know how to express that and I will come off as a bitch or people won't like me as well as when I just went with the flow.
I know there has to be a way to balance all of this out, but trying to figure it out is making my heart beat faster.
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