Smile and Nod...Works Every Time

I've discovered that with high drama individuals, smiling and nodding is my greatest recourse in interacting with them day to day.

If you engage a high drama personality, it is easy to get sucked into their over reactions, trials, and tribulations and they will turn any anthill sized problem into a full, underground, destructive termites nest.

I feel guilty if I ignore a person trying to get my attention or who seems to need myself, so I've been a likely and willing target for people who overemphasis their problems and day to day interactions. I would sympathize with the cruelty and unfairness of life, but when I'd offer solutions, many times I would be attacked or slighted for "not understanding".

I think the hardest realization for me is that wen I started to feel out of control, I heard myself worrying about other people with problems. I had to stop. I sat down and looked at the true nature of the complaints and problems of the high drama people in my life, and I've discovered that the problems boil down to three different areas.

1. Addictive behaviors -- overuse of alcohol/drugs, need for attention/perfection, overeating, living life vicariously through other people, etc

2. Boredom/depression -- no job, no kids, no money, and no drive to change the current situation and instead finding distraction in creating drama about/with/through other people

3. Sadism/Experimentation/Borderline Sociopathic behavior -- like to see other people react, want to see what someone else will do in a situation, pokes and prods at the thoughts/feelings of others for entertainment

After realizing that, I asked myself if people in those categories that were filling my life with dramatic monologues were people that I considered healthy friends. Looking at it, they're mostly not. There has to be honesty, give and take, trust, and openness to have a good friendship with someone. When I was dreading talking to or seeing certain people, that was a red flag.

I hope on days when I'm being overexcited about something simple, a friend will give me a heads up and tell me to get back into perspective. I think it's what everyone needs sometimes. I don't think anyone wants to be a high drama mama!