A Girl Like Me is Hard to Find (but so is a Guy that's Worth My Time)

Doesn't that title just sound like a cheer?

So I've been trying to figure out what I envision the holidays being like this year. It's rough because the past year has provided a lot of changes in my life. While they're amazing and wonderful, positive and affirming, the fact that so much has changed makes it hard to know how I want to proceed. How do I plan, what do I want?

It's been easy in the past to decide on holidays because honestly, I just let other people plan them even if I wasn't a hundred percent happy with the ideas and events. I'd let myself be stressed out, keeping it all inside, sometimes crying at night because I wanted to feel thankful and loving, but the world swirling around me felt out of control.

I actually regret how many times a minor annoyance let me ruin my outlook. I would open a gift that deep down I adored and I couldn't express gratitude. I was a grouch and a scrooge even though deep down I love and cherish everything holidays have to offer.

This year, I'm going to smile. I'm going to mean it. I'm not going to let something small falling out of place ruin it for me. I'm not going to let someone telling me Thanksgiving and Christmas are stupid and commercialized because in my heart, they're not.

This is a time of year that I like to feel I'm remembering to show people that they mean something to me. With the love and thanks I feel many days, saying thank you really isn't enough when it comes down to the end of the year. I've made a lot of new friends that I cherish, and it may be hard to find a girl like me (and harder to find a guy who is worth it), but it's hard to find true friends too. (Not to mention my incredible family--I love you all. I couldn't have been adopted into a family of better and more supportive people!)

To those of you I love and feel thankful for, I hope you know who you are, because even if I forget to say it, you've gotten me through a lot. This year has been more difficult than I could have imagined, but it's starting to feel worth it. Things are getting better (even if I do have an angry rant here and there).

Happy Holidays or Bah Humbug. You decide ;)