I'm going to start with the concept of an RSVP (or in case you don't understand the French it means please respond, usually to an invitation). Traditionally, a guest receives an invitation. If there are no conflicts on the calendar, they respond yes to the invitation and add it to their calendar. If another invitation comes later for that same day/time, the second invitation gets declined. The exception to this is is a family affair or huge event like a graduation or wedding conflicts, in which case it is the responsibility of the guest to contact the host and explain to them why they're going to have to cancel.
So, what the hell has happened? Now people decide whether or not to RSVP based on how they're feeling. They don't respond to an invitation. Even if a guest does respond, I've notice a 50% chance that they will ditch out on their accepted invitation for something they do off the cuff that day.
For me, it's further proof that people no longer give a damn about common courtesy. They don't care about the friends (well more like acquaintances) they hurt because they're too busy following their own pleasure seeking that they don't even notice they're rude.
I'm not saying there are not good reasons to be unaware of whether or not a person can make it to an event. If there's an inconsistent work schedule, it's best to respond yes, but make sure to let the host/hostess know originally that you may have to work and then keep him/her updated once the work schedule is known.
Why is this so hard? Communication and respect are the only two keys to responding to an invitation. Even if a family emergency comes up, letting the host/hostess know is the one thing that can be done to make sure he/she knows that you didn't flake out on an event, but simply were unable to make it.
I think when it comes down to it, I have a much easier time figuring out who my true friends are based on whether or not they show me any respect when I attempt to do something nice to spend time with them. Honestly, there are people who are in careers that are still acting like they're in high school. Ten years from now, I'll still be having parties with the people I care about and the bad RSVPers will no longer be receiving invitations to parties from me or anyone else. No one likes to be ignored or disrespected.
By the way, if you fall into the category of a bad RSVPer, you may want to consider how that makes your friends or even family view you. The world doesn't revolve around you unless you want to live in that world all alone.
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ReplyDeleteI understand and agree to what you are saying. However, I do hold one challenging thought. I suppose I do usually respond to event invitations on facebook. If I recieve an email, or snail mail, I am sure to respond. But I recieve so many facebook invitations, that I don't even look at them anymore. In fact, I was being invited to so many things and getting so many obnoxious emails from facebook that I disabled email notifications. I think it is important to consider the media by which you are inviting others to an event. In this day and age, people are being invited to "day light savings" on facebook. Just a thought. Hope you are well.
ReplyDeleteWell I actually have quite a few friends who are not on Facebook or have requested that they not be sent Facebook invites. I send them alternate invitations (either e-mail or snail mail depending on the event). Last time I only did e-mail, no one responded. I think it's really a problem of the generation. I learned very quickly that people don't respond around my wedding. I sent a lot of snail mail cards and did not receive RSVPs, a lot of people told me they don't check their mail. All in all, I think some people understand the importance and value of events and others, well, I'm starting to think that if people lack the ability to respond to me, I can lack the responsibility of inviting them. (Obviously I will add you to the non-Facebook list, Mindy.)
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